I believe we have all had a conversation that left us scratching our head and saying “ that’s not what I expected”. I believe sometimes, even the one who initiated the conversation was not expecting the direction (down south) it took. You sit back and secretly wish you hadn’t said anything at all.
How can we avoid this?
Sis, sip on this…
It may not be the conversation but the filters in the communication on both ends.
Anytime, we sense a topic of conversation needs to be had, consider your personal motive. Why are you concerned? Is there anything in this person’s past, present, character, or work ethic causing you this concern? If yes, proceed forward. A conversation just between the two of you. If not, be mindful and examine your personal thoughts, feelings and emotions as well. Ask yourself, why does this really concern me?
Communication is a two way street, and it is best when we fully and genuinely understand why our questions arise. When we are clear and you decide to pursue the conversation, consider starting with compliments to the receiver of the information. Remember, she has filters too. He or she has internal alarms, bells, and whistles just like you.
The best conversations are those that are prayed for, in advance, during and after and once filters are identified. Just like an actual filter, we can’t receive good air when the filter is clogged with debris (similar to our feelings, experiences). Ensure your receivers (both) are plugged into the Godly source called the Holy Spirit. Compliments go a long way. If and only then do things not go well, take the conversation to the next step.
"If your brother does something wrong to you, go to him. Talk alone to him and tell him what he has done. If he listens to you, you have kept your bother as a friend. But if he does not listen to you, take one or tow others with you to talk to him. Then two or three people will hear every word and can prove what was said."
Communication is important but remember it’s a two way street, to get the best of the conversation, stay humble, open, loving, kind and ask for feedback along the way. God loves you (and her).